County’s Climate-Justice Plan Gets Weird Nephew Izzy All Excited
4/24/25 – My weird nephew Izzy called again this morning. He was all atwitter about Harris County’s new Climate-Justice Plan adopted by Commissioner’s Court on 4/10/25. And he could barely contain his excitement.
The Phone Call from Nephew Izzy
“They did it, Uncle Bob. They really, finally done did it?”
“Did what, Izzy?”
“We finally gonna get some climate justice, Uncle Bob.”
“I didn’t know climate broke the law, Izzy.”
“Oh, Uncle Bob! Justice is just a word they tag onto things they want.”
“What do they want, Izzy?”
“For starters, Uncle Bob, a carbon tax.”
“But Izzy, you can barely afford to put gas in that 1974 Lincoln of yours as it is.”
“I hadn’t thought of that, Uncle Bob. Maybe they’ll buy me a new ride. It’s getting hard to find parts for the Lincoln nowadays. Junkyards hardly carry dem anymore.”
“What else does the climate-justice plan do, Izzy?”
“They gonna make it so you can check out gardening tools at libraries.”
“That would mean you have to work, Izzy.”
“But think of all the things I could grow, Uncle Bob.”
“Cheetos don’t grow in gardens, Izzy.”
“They don’t?”
“They don’t.”
Brightening… “Well, they gonna make solar panels easier to get, Uncle Bob!”
“Where will you put them, Izzy? You live in an apartment.”
“Well, I could stick one in my window…”
“And do what with it?”
“Hook it up to my deep frier.”
“You got me there, Izzy. I’m all for sustainable fried chicken.”
Hair Gone Wild
“You know the beauty of climate justice, Uncle Bob?”
“No.”
“You can plug just about anything into it.”
“I can see that, Izzy.”
“Yeah, Lina Hidalgo might finally get some hair justice.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how her hair always be shootin’ out all over the place from Houston’s humidity?”

“Hmmmm, yesssss?”
“I look that way, too, sometimes when I wake up. I sure could use some hair justice myself.”
“Personally, Izzy. I’d settle for some good, old-fashioned criminal justice. You know…keep the thieves, murderers and rapists in jail…that kind of stuff.”
“Geez, Uncle Bob. You’re so old fashioned. That went out with the Nineties.”
“Look, Izzy. Is climate justice going to make you safer from hurricanes?”
“I heard they might spend some of the extra tax money to fix flooding, Uncle Bob.”
“Where? Behind Rodney Ellis’ house?”
“Who’s Rodney Ellis, Uncle Bob?”
“He’s the guy trying to take your tax dollars, Izzy.”
“I can’t afford no more deductions from my pay check, Uncle Bob. I barely got change left over for them cheesy fries at Burger King.”
“Case closed, Izzy.”
Posted by Bob Rehak on 4/24/25
2795 Days since Hurricane Harvey